Mental Health: Relationships

Today has been an amazing day. I woke up to a happy and energetic brother who was ready to spend time together. As any siblings we’ve been through our ups and downs, but I see us finally at an age where we have learned to communicate with each other and really enjoy our time together.

We went on a walk to Prospect Park, grabbed and shared a bagel at this local shop all about community ( they even donate 10% back charity and you can use their space for free at night for community events), talked on the porch for a few hours, and then eventually parted ways to get ready for dinner in NYC where he kindly was letting me tag along with his friends.

While this post seems to be all about my brother, it’s actually about some advice he gave me while we ate breakfast/lunch.

I’ve always struggled with relationships, whether between friends, family, or significant others. I always get hurt really easily and end up feeling drained and under appreciated all the time. My brother recognized a particular hard relationship I had that was really taking a toll on me. He then taught me the amazing lesson of listening.

He showed me how my sharing so much about myself, I was giving the power of my story to other people. If I wanted to keep my power, it was important to change the dynamic in my relationships by listening and sharing what was apporopriate, rather than sharing everything.

He recognized something important about myself that I did not realize about myself – I trusted everyone upfront with my heart, my story, and me. I didn’t make people earn my trust, rather I gave it out willingly to everyone.

This resulted in hurt feelings and disappointment.

That being said, I’m not advocating that everyone become super guarded and not be open to new relationships. Rather, I’m opening up about how boundaries and listening can lead to healthier relationships.

However, I did just receive this advice today, so I will have to give you an update on how this works in my daily life soon.

I ship this so hard,

E

 

 

 

 

 

 

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