I gotta work it!
Again and again ’til I get it right
You live and you learn it!
And if I mess it up sometimes…
While the Hannah Montana craze might be over, that doesn’t mean she didn’t teach us some really good lessons. All too often I find myself looking at past choices and cringing at the decisions I made. I think it is about time to stop harping on what you did wrong, and start embracing all the came from the mistake.
By no means am I saying that mistakes don’t have consequences or you shouldn’t feel anything. YOU feel how YOU feel, and no one has the right to change that.
That being said, something I think is really critical to growth is to see how that mistake changed you, helped you grow, or opened your mind. You can’t change that the mistake was made, but you can learn from it.
I think the easiest way to demonstrate this is through a personal example, because clearly my life experience trumps any real science. While I am completely kidding, I do personally find value in hearing others stories ( Ted Talks anyone??).
I’ve dated a lot the last few years. Since graduating high school, I’ve had over five boyfriends. That means as a junior, I’ve dated 5 guys in 2.5 Writing this now, I literally laugh as it is ridiculous even to me. However, during each relationship there was no stopping me.
Every relationship, I thought the guy was amazing and that we were perfect for each other. As it turns out, I was in a lot of really unhealthy, abusive relationships. Don’t get me wrong, some of them were just not the right guys and they were always the perfect gentleman like my freshman year boyfriend and my summer boyfriend after that.
That being said, a lot of the guys were just me dating abusive guys on repeat – whether physically or emotionally. I excused their behavior because I loved them. The thing is, I could harp on what bad guys they are, or what’s wrong with me for dating them. Instead, I like to believe I learned so much about myself through these relationships.
I know how strong I am. I know that I can stand up for myself. I know my friends would do anything to support me. I know that sometimes what feels like love is really just infatuation combined with manipulation.
Looking back, I know I’ve never been in love with a guy before. Even so, making all these dating mistakes has shown me that I do love myself. In a world where hating yourself in the norm, loving yourself is an act of rebellion and I invite all of you to rebel with me by loving yourself and embracing your mistakes.